Sunday 20 February 2011

Paul increases holiday capacity

The evenings were drawing in and there was a distinct chill in the air in the mornings. Paul quickened his step to reach his warm office in the short walk from his reserved parking spot to the main administrative building. This morning, after reading some emails and ringing for coffee from his personal assistant, he opened a file on seasonal demand based on last year's figures. There were the predictable peaks during the holidays, at major national events and he noticed one particular tall bar on the chart that corresponded to Christmas.
He leant back and recalled last Christmas, when they had been flooded with orders for work but had only been able to fulfill about half of these due to the skeleton staff that was working that day. How many customers had they turned away? Ones that might never return. He must stop this happening again.

On the company noticeboard outside the canteen at lunchtime, the workers saw a new notice pinned up.

"In order to maximize workflow and to maintain as efficient service as possible this year Christmas Day will be a normal working day for all staff. This time can be claimed back in lieu later in the leave calender. Paul (MD)."

They were speechless. How could this be allowed? There must have been some mistake. They must talk to Paul as soon as possible to rectify it.

And so it was that as Paul prepared to leave that afternoon, shrugging on his overcoat at his customary half past four, he found a deputation of drivers and washers and fuel pump attendants waiting for him.

"Paul!" they cried, in obvious distress. "What's all this about Christmas being a normal working day? Is this a misprint?"

Paul smiled. Of course - his higher plane of strategic thinking has evaded them. Whilst it would make him late for 'Countdown' he had better explain the issue to them.

"No. Not a misprint. Christmas Day is an extremely busy day for orders as people want to criss-cross the country visiting family and friends and going on holiday. Last year we turned away half the potential customers - that is very bad for business."

"But Paul," the workers replied, still clearly distressed. "You can't just cancel Christmas. Even the Prime Minister can't do that."

"We're not canceling it," smiled Paul. "Merely relocating it to optimize profits."

"But everything else will be shut. Schools for example. Will the company provide childcare?"

"That is of course out of the remit of the company. We are not a creche!" joked Paul.

"Paul, we understand that it is a busy day but you can't just unilaterally cancel a public holiday. How about trying to make some arrangements for better cover that day by asking for volunteers but making it worth their while. Just having a different day off at some other time isn't really enough."

"OK. We'll say only those without children need to work that day." Goodness, thought Paul to himself, a brain like greased lightening: that'll silence them.

But it didn't.

"With what sort of incentive?" some asked. What an ungrateful bunch!

Paul sighed. It looked like he would have to stump up some extra money to make this work. That would erode into profits. Didn't these people see that?

"Time and a half," he compromised.

"But what about those with children?" asked one. "We are being disenfranchised from earning that extra money simply because we are parents. That is unfair too."

Will this never end?

"Okay, okay," he said fearing some Equal Opportunities legislation being quoted at him. "We''ll arrange for a limited creche on that day so people with children can take part if they want to. Happy now?"

"We'll think it over," said the workers. "But it really would have been better if you had consulted us all first and come to a mutual agreement rather than issuing an ill-thought out order."

"By the way," asked one. "Will the administrative staff be working that day too?"

Paul smiled. "I hardly think that they will be needed on Christmas Day. Everything else will be shut."

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