The summer was drawing to a close and many of the under-managers were returning from their holidays. It did not seem to matter if they were away at the same time as each other but the drivers had to stagger their holidays to ensure several of them were always around.
Now that most people were back Paul set about sending some administrative emails - these had been sadly or mercifully (depending on one's point of view) absent over the previous month and he felt he needed to introduce some changes. If only for changes sake.
So the drivers were not too surprised to find a message in their Inboxes one morning informing them of changes to the areas of responsibility of the Main Administrative Task Reorganising Operational Notetakers. Few of the drivers knew what it was these people did anyway and they certainly did not see them around the company's shop floor very often. It was therefore news to them that they had 'areas of responsibility' at all and still quite mystifying as to what exactly was their role.
Paul however decreed:
From the beginning of the month the Main Administrative Task Reorganising Operational Notetaker previously assigned to the Refuelling areas will take over responsibility for the Washer Section and the one for the Job Booking Centre will now be in charge of Single Colour Parking. The roles for supervising the Cleaning Section with extra responsibility for the Clean Below the Ankle policy will swap with the previous role of overseeing the compulsory in-house training programme.
The drivers looked at all this and wondered. What on earth was the point?
"Hey, Paul!" they wanted to shout. "If you slice a cake a different way does it get any bigger?"
But Paul wasn't listening. He was counting all the extra income he was getting from the 125% price rise in the car parking fares that had quietly come into effect that month.
Wednesday 31 August 2011
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Paul seeks innovation
Paul's company internal budget management was a mess. All the individual departments were required to keep their accounts based on the amount of notional money that came in. No real money ever changed hands and moreover, the system assumed that all the departments operated entirely independently, without interacting with each other. Nothing could have been further from the truth as every driver, washer and refueller knew - but Paul did not.
On one sunny morning during the sultry late summer therefore, Paul sent an email around to the staff in the Division of Unhired Cars - they were responsible for most of the emergency work that did not involve actual breakdowns needing stripping down of the engines - inviting them to take part in a competition:
Due to deficiencies in performance there is a current overspend in the projected annual budget for your division. We need to find more cost savings urgently and you are encouraged to submit your ideas to me within the next three weeks. The person with the best - and the most - ideas will win a prize.
It was not specified what the prize might be.
Most of the drivers were rather put out by this. 'Aren't we working hard enough?' they wondered.
One of them asked: 'Paul, this little toy town economy of yours in the company - it doesn't make any sense. On the one hand you are exhorting us to work harder, attract more work, take on more jobs. Now you want us to reduce what we do, cut output, make savings. Have your left and right hands even met?'
Paul, naturally, ignored this.
One of the drivers had an idea. It was an old established custom that a worker wanting help from someone else within the company would scribble an outline of their problem on a little card and drop this off in an old box in a central office. From there it would be collected, passed to the addressee and action would hopefully ensue. The irony of the anachronistic nature of this system in an otherwise almost completely computerised workplace had gone largely unnoticed.
Sometimes the cards would get lost. Other times they went to the wrong person and days could go by waiting for the delivery to go to the correct person, during which time most of the work on the project in question would more or less stop. No one seemed to question why a simple telephone call or an email would not suffice, especially as lately the system was open to a fair amount of abuse as even junior fuel pump attendants could write a card asking for a quite senior driver to come and look at a fuel gauge, when perhaps this was not always necessary.
'And if you also wanted to record all this activity, Paul,' said the driver, 'then why not introduce an electronic system? The cards don't record anything as mostly they are torn up after the relevant advice has been given. It would be a much more reliable system, fully accountable and save days of waiting around. Other National Hire Service centres do it already. Think of all the time savings.'
'I'd have to invest in more IT,' countered Paul.
'Yes, but think of all the time wasted currently while people wait for others to come and advise and the job stalls. Saving that would surely pay for itself very soon.'
'Hmm. Hard to quantify though,' said Paul.
'Oh, I have quantifiable savings too,' replied the driver. 'Take a walk round the place any day of the week and ask anyone who is carrying a clipboard what on earth they are doing. If they aren't contributing anything useful to what goes on here - sack them.'
'You mean introduce an extended programme of compulsory redundancies amongst the managerial staff?' mused Paul.
'Same thing,' sighed the driver walking off, confident that neither of his ideas would ever see fruition.
On one sunny morning during the sultry late summer therefore, Paul sent an email around to the staff in the Division of Unhired Cars - they were responsible for most of the emergency work that did not involve actual breakdowns needing stripping down of the engines - inviting them to take part in a competition:
Due to deficiencies in performance there is a current overspend in the projected annual budget for your division. We need to find more cost savings urgently and you are encouraged to submit your ideas to me within the next three weeks. The person with the best - and the most - ideas will win a prize.
It was not specified what the prize might be.
Most of the drivers were rather put out by this. 'Aren't we working hard enough?' they wondered.
One of them asked: 'Paul, this little toy town economy of yours in the company - it doesn't make any sense. On the one hand you are exhorting us to work harder, attract more work, take on more jobs. Now you want us to reduce what we do, cut output, make savings. Have your left and right hands even met?'
Paul, naturally, ignored this.
One of the drivers had an idea. It was an old established custom that a worker wanting help from someone else within the company would scribble an outline of their problem on a little card and drop this off in an old box in a central office. From there it would be collected, passed to the addressee and action would hopefully ensue. The irony of the anachronistic nature of this system in an otherwise almost completely computerised workplace had gone largely unnoticed.
Sometimes the cards would get lost. Other times they went to the wrong person and days could go by waiting for the delivery to go to the correct person, during which time most of the work on the project in question would more or less stop. No one seemed to question why a simple telephone call or an email would not suffice, especially as lately the system was open to a fair amount of abuse as even junior fuel pump attendants could write a card asking for a quite senior driver to come and look at a fuel gauge, when perhaps this was not always necessary.
'And if you also wanted to record all this activity, Paul,' said the driver, 'then why not introduce an electronic system? The cards don't record anything as mostly they are torn up after the relevant advice has been given. It would be a much more reliable system, fully accountable and save days of waiting around. Other National Hire Service centres do it already. Think of all the time savings.'
'I'd have to invest in more IT,' countered Paul.
'Yes, but think of all the time wasted currently while people wait for others to come and advise and the job stalls. Saving that would surely pay for itself very soon.'
'Hmm. Hard to quantify though,' said Paul.
'Oh, I have quantifiable savings too,' replied the driver. 'Take a walk round the place any day of the week and ask anyone who is carrying a clipboard what on earth they are doing. If they aren't contributing anything useful to what goes on here - sack them.'
'You mean introduce an extended programme of compulsory redundancies amongst the managerial staff?' mused Paul.
'Same thing,' sighed the driver walking off, confident that neither of his ideas would ever see fruition.
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Paul sorts out some staff disharmony
Some of the administrative staff had not been seeing eye to eye for some time. The office was something of a no-go area for the drivers lest they be embroiled in another round of 'she-said-this-to-me' and the amount of time they had spent counselling the various parties was beginning to add up.
No one could even remember who, how or what had started this maelstrom of ill-will and different drivers had at various times done their best to pour oil on the troubled waters, but to no avail. Things had got so bad that people were now taking time off with stress - a sure sign that the downward spiral was in full flow.
Up until then Paul had not been too concerned with the situation as the work was, one way or another, being done. But as soon as it became clear to him that he was paying money for people to be away, he took notice. He acted swiftly.
First he arranged a meeting with all the affected administrative staff. There it became clear to him that the central issue was the relationship between one person in particular and the various others. Allegations and counter-allegations were flung about like confetti and he too found it hard to untangle the whole. He decided that simply to move the one person into a different office and let the rest get on with things seemed the most practical solution. The drivers were delighted and the workers who were to be left behind in the office were very happy with this plan. It would, they thought, solve everything as they all worked quite well together.
A couple of weeks passed where nothing happened and the staff were starting to become a bit restless, wondering if they had been forgotten. One of the drivers rang Paul to enquire what was happening.
"I'm arranging a mediation session," was the reply.
"What? Why? I thought we had a good plan that kept everyone happy?" queried the driver.
"I've drafted in an advice team from the Human Resources department and the Training section and they feel that some sessions of facilitated common ground finding would be useful."
"And how long is that going to take? The atmosphere in that office is awful. If you're not careful more will go on sick leave. None of them enjoys coming to work anymore."
"Well," replied Paul. "Obviously many of the mediation facilitation staff are away on their summer holiday right now but as soon as they're back..."
"Don't you understand the urgency here, Paul? Why change a perfectly good plan that could have been enacted straight away?" The driver thought awhile. "It wouldn't by any chance be a tactic to get people to resign? Only a couple of weeks ago you were telling us you needed to sack 107 staff..."
"We're not sacking anyone!" screamed Paul. " There will simply be some compulsory redundancies. Anyway, were going to try mediation and that's that."
"You do realise that you're taking a big responsibility in doing this. If it doesn't work it is highly likely that there will be a disruption in service."
"We are merely advising," retorted Paul. "We don't take responsibility for anything." And he stomped off.
No one could even remember who, how or what had started this maelstrom of ill-will and different drivers had at various times done their best to pour oil on the troubled waters, but to no avail. Things had got so bad that people were now taking time off with stress - a sure sign that the downward spiral was in full flow.
Up until then Paul had not been too concerned with the situation as the work was, one way or another, being done. But as soon as it became clear to him that he was paying money for people to be away, he took notice. He acted swiftly.
First he arranged a meeting with all the affected administrative staff. There it became clear to him that the central issue was the relationship between one person in particular and the various others. Allegations and counter-allegations were flung about like confetti and he too found it hard to untangle the whole. He decided that simply to move the one person into a different office and let the rest get on with things seemed the most practical solution. The drivers were delighted and the workers who were to be left behind in the office were very happy with this plan. It would, they thought, solve everything as they all worked quite well together.
A couple of weeks passed where nothing happened and the staff were starting to become a bit restless, wondering if they had been forgotten. One of the drivers rang Paul to enquire what was happening.
"I'm arranging a mediation session," was the reply.
"What? Why? I thought we had a good plan that kept everyone happy?" queried the driver.
"I've drafted in an advice team from the Human Resources department and the Training section and they feel that some sessions of facilitated common ground finding would be useful."
"And how long is that going to take? The atmosphere in that office is awful. If you're not careful more will go on sick leave. None of them enjoys coming to work anymore."
"Well," replied Paul. "Obviously many of the mediation facilitation staff are away on their summer holiday right now but as soon as they're back..."
"Don't you understand the urgency here, Paul? Why change a perfectly good plan that could have been enacted straight away?" The driver thought awhile. "It wouldn't by any chance be a tactic to get people to resign? Only a couple of weeks ago you were telling us you needed to sack 107 staff..."
"We're not sacking anyone!" screamed Paul. " There will simply be some compulsory redundancies. Anyway, were going to try mediation and that's that."
"You do realise that you're taking a big responsibility in doing this. If it doesn't work it is highly likely that there will be a disruption in service."
"We are merely advising," retorted Paul. "We don't take responsibility for anything." And he stomped off.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Paul gives the staff helpful information
There had been nothing like it before, even in the memory of the oldest driver. It was as though the population had undergone a collective Jekyll to Hyde conversion. In multiple cities across the country riots were breaking out each evening and the number of cars that were being burned meant that the National Hire Service was on high alert for more work. The drivers looked aghast at the images nightly displayed on their TV screens and hoped that they would not be caught up in the mayhem.
Having said this, the city where Paul's branch sat had remained trouble free. One upturned wheeliebin at the corner of the road - the sole product of one disenchanted youth's brief protest - had been the only casualty. Everyone wanted that to be the only act of vandalism in their city.
And thus it was that the drivers were not a little alarmed one afternoon as Paul ventured forth out of his office visiting all the work areas accompanied by his Main Administrative Task Reorganising Operational Notetaker - a squat, Batrachian woman of about fifty named Gwenda Water-Baths, whose understanding of the drivers' work was less even than Paul's.
"There are rumours of civil disobedience in the city this afternoon," was the word they spread. "We're here to exhort you to be cautious on your way home."
"What do you mean 'cautious'?" asked one driver. "Don't walk into a riot? Give us some credit."
Paul and Gwenda ignored this and continued: "You need to plan how to get in tomorrow in light of these disturbances."
"Eh? How? Are you going to lay on armoured buses or something? Either we can come in or we can't. There's not much we can do about it if the whole place is ablaze and full of rioters."
Paul and Gwenda were silent.
"Where did you hear this information anyway?" asked one driver, who had hitherto not spoken.
"Er, we heard a rumour," they said lamely.
"I only ask because there's a well respected local journalist on the Daily Record who has posted a message on Twitter to the effect that he has just driven around the whole city and has not seen anything in the way of riots anywhere. I would have thought that you would have checked your facts before going round being alarmist, especially when you have no useful advice to offer with it anyway."
Paul and Gwenda remained silent. They hadn't thought of checking their facts.
They started slinking away.
"Hey, Paul!" shouted another as the deflated pair reached the door. "Did you see the article showing that this branch of the National Hire Centre is the most expensive to park at in the whole country? Oh no, you wouldn't have given that you're not aware of the local press."
Paul and Gwenda turned the corner and disappeared from view.
Having said this, the city where Paul's branch sat had remained trouble free. One upturned wheeliebin at the corner of the road - the sole product of one disenchanted youth's brief protest - had been the only casualty. Everyone wanted that to be the only act of vandalism in their city.
And thus it was that the drivers were not a little alarmed one afternoon as Paul ventured forth out of his office visiting all the work areas accompanied by his Main Administrative Task Reorganising Operational Notetaker - a squat, Batrachian woman of about fifty named Gwenda Water-Baths, whose understanding of the drivers' work was less even than Paul's.
"There are rumours of civil disobedience in the city this afternoon," was the word they spread. "We're here to exhort you to be cautious on your way home."
"What do you mean 'cautious'?" asked one driver. "Don't walk into a riot? Give us some credit."
Paul and Gwenda ignored this and continued: "You need to plan how to get in tomorrow in light of these disturbances."
"Eh? How? Are you going to lay on armoured buses or something? Either we can come in or we can't. There's not much we can do about it if the whole place is ablaze and full of rioters."
Paul and Gwenda were silent.
"Where did you hear this information anyway?" asked one driver, who had hitherto not spoken.
"Er, we heard a rumour," they said lamely.
"I only ask because there's a well respected local journalist on the Daily Record who has posted a message on Twitter to the effect that he has just driven around the whole city and has not seen anything in the way of riots anywhere. I would have thought that you would have checked your facts before going round being alarmist, especially when you have no useful advice to offer with it anyway."
Paul and Gwenda remained silent. They hadn't thought of checking their facts.
They started slinking away.
"Hey, Paul!" shouted another as the deflated pair reached the door. "Did you see the article showing that this branch of the National Hire Centre is the most expensive to park at in the whole country? Oh no, you wouldn't have given that you're not aware of the local press."
Paul and Gwenda turned the corner and disappeared from view.
Wednesday 3 August 2011
Paul improves efficiency (again)
It was high summer. The heavy, fetid heat seeped into every room except Paul's, where the air conditioning was on maximum. Many of the offices were empty as this was the holiday season and dozens of the drivers had escaped to the beach for a week or two of recuperation from their recent excesses of work. One of the drivers was off sick as the long hours finally took their toll and the skeleton staff that remained could just about cover the work. The languid atmosphere clogged the whole place like syrup.
And so it was with not a little surprise that the remaining drivers read an email inviting them to a consultation and a launch of new initiative to improve customer services. Which was it, they wondered - the start of a consultation or the launch of a new way of working? It couldn't be both, could it?
Paul stood at the lectern, a minion having opened the inevitable PowerPoint presentation for him. "Do you think we'll need more seats?" he queried. "No - four each should be fine," quipped someone from the back.
At five sharp he began.
"We have been conducting a survey of practice to improve the booking process for jobs. Customer feedback shows that this is area where we can improve. It appears that different departments are using varying practices in arranging appointments for their drivers."
"Well obviously, Paul," the drivers chorused. "Booking tasks for a bulldozer is rather different than in the limousine section, isn't it?"
Paul ignored this and continued.
"We have discovered that streamlining the service will lead to better efficiency and cost savings. For example, some of the secretaries will now be known as Pathway Facilitator Operatives and take on more of the role of the booking paperwork. Other staff may also be deployed cross-boundary into these posts. It will aid and enhance career development opportunities. In this fashion we estimate that we can lose 107 posts and still achieve better results."
"You mean that by renaming each job with a fancy title you can fool people into believing that they have had a promotion, all the while filling them largely with people of a lower pay grade - thus saving you more money," shouted one.
"Hang on, Paul. You're going to sack 107 staff at a time when you are rearranging the core administration of the service? That sounds rather risky," queried another.
Paul was livid.
"We aren't sacking anyone," he exploded. "That is inflammatory language which shall not be used. After a period of consultation, natural wastage and relocation as well as some voluntary redundancies there will simply be some compulsory redundancies."
"What's the difference?" they asked.
Paul forebore to answer.
The drivers were very angry. In the first place this wasn't so much a consultation as the presentation of a done deal. And secondly:
"Isn't it true that you just wanted to cut wage costs and thus dreamt up this phoney redesign as a Trojan horse for them, hoping that in the morass of detail about customer service improvement programmes no one would notice that you were planning to reduce the workforce all along?"
Paul forebore to answer.
And so it was with not a little surprise that the remaining drivers read an email inviting them to a consultation and a launch of new initiative to improve customer services. Which was it, they wondered - the start of a consultation or the launch of a new way of working? It couldn't be both, could it?
Paul stood at the lectern, a minion having opened the inevitable PowerPoint presentation for him. "Do you think we'll need more seats?" he queried. "No - four each should be fine," quipped someone from the back.
At five sharp he began.
"We have been conducting a survey of practice to improve the booking process for jobs. Customer feedback shows that this is area where we can improve. It appears that different departments are using varying practices in arranging appointments for their drivers."
"Well obviously, Paul," the drivers chorused. "Booking tasks for a bulldozer is rather different than in the limousine section, isn't it?"
Paul ignored this and continued.
"We have discovered that streamlining the service will lead to better efficiency and cost savings. For example, some of the secretaries will now be known as Pathway Facilitator Operatives and take on more of the role of the booking paperwork. Other staff may also be deployed cross-boundary into these posts. It will aid and enhance career development opportunities. In this fashion we estimate that we can lose 107 posts and still achieve better results."
"You mean that by renaming each job with a fancy title you can fool people into believing that they have had a promotion, all the while filling them largely with people of a lower pay grade - thus saving you more money," shouted one.
"Hang on, Paul. You're going to sack 107 staff at a time when you are rearranging the core administration of the service? That sounds rather risky," queried another.
Paul was livid.
"We aren't sacking anyone," he exploded. "That is inflammatory language which shall not be used. After a period of consultation, natural wastage and relocation as well as some voluntary redundancies there will simply be some compulsory redundancies."
"What's the difference?" they asked.
Paul forebore to answer.
The drivers were very angry. In the first place this wasn't so much a consultation as the presentation of a done deal. And secondly:
"Isn't it true that you just wanted to cut wage costs and thus dreamt up this phoney redesign as a Trojan horse for them, hoping that in the morass of detail about customer service improvement programmes no one would notice that you were planning to reduce the workforce all along?"
Paul forebore to answer.
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